Giving an Egg a Blow Job

No self-respecting German would EVER do this. Nor would they need to since they are raised on hard boiled eggs and these things come naturally.

But, even though this guy is annoying in a White Supremest way, I'm posting. It's kinda fun.

Super-Cute Palin

"SF Chronicle"
By Mark Morford

Ah, yes. Sarah "Don't Ask Me Anything" Palin. What a sheer joy it's been to watch this bubbly train-wreck of a grand mistake shimmy her way into history, no? Screw the doom 'n' gloom of Bush and the end of Wall Street. At least this nutball creationist knows how to get her freak on, am I right?

It's now obvious that the McCain campaign is so desperately embarrassed by Palin and her shocking ignorance of all things complex and political and worldly, they are simply terrified of letting her speak to any media anywhere. She is being shielded like the deformed stepdaughter, like the cute puppy they bought on the cheap at the mall only to get it home and realize it's got incurable parasites and a wonky eye and pees in its sleep and will require very expensive surgery if it ever wants to digest actual food.

Everyone now knows Palin's odd, canned, carefully stage-managed softball interviews with Katie Couric and Charlie Gibson came out garbled and embarrassing and barely coherent, and she said not a single thing to inspire confidence that she has the slightest clue about what's really going on.

Fun tidbit: Joe Biden has given about 90 interviews and press conferences since being nominated VP, covering every possible topic with ease and confidence. Palin's count? Three tepid, softball interviews, zero press conferences. Zero. Over a month since her nom and not a single serious media gathering. That's not only historic, that's deeply disturbing. But also: super-cute!

Letterman's Tribute to Paul Newman

Car stories, video montage with Rufus Wainright singing...what's not to love?

Go Cocks!

I wore this University of Southern Carolina t-shirt to work today. I was hoping someone, ANYONE would notice and ask me about it. But nothing. Not even a "go cocks" as I walk by. I had no opportunity to say something inappropriate - nothing to get me sent home or reprimanded. I think the only next obvious step is to wear a shirt with actual swear words on it. Or maybe just a t-shirt with a giant clitoris on it? I gotta do some drunk eBay shopping...

Like Prozac or Novocaine

Walks around the building - done.

Herbal tea - done.

Stress ball - done.

If you TECHNICALLY can't be on heavy medication at work (I need a prescription), how does one deal with stupid fuckers day in and day out? I'm trying Enya today, in hopes she will work like Prozac...or like Novocaine at the very least.

So far so good, but it's only lunch.

Hey, I found this nifty Lord of the Rings / Enya clip that puts a tranquil bead of sweat down my back and under my breasts. I wish I could move to Middle Earth, after all, it's safe now since that damned ring was given back.

I wonder what Liv Tyler is doing right now?

Enjoy the video:

Black Monday

Kiss your savings, your retirement, your equity in your house and (for those of you with feeling still left in yours after being reamed by the Bush Admin), kiss your ass goodbye.

Open up those borders, Mexico. Here we come!

Paul Newman R.I.P.

A couple of note-worthy quotes:

1 - Mr. Newman told Playboy magazine, in an often-repeated quotation about marital fidelity, “I have steak at home; why go out for hamburger?”

2 - “We are such spendthrifts with our lives,” Mr. Newman once told a reporter. “The trick of living is to slip on and off the planet with the least fuss you can muster. I’m not running for sainthood. I just happen to think that in life we need to be a little like the farmer, who puts back into the soil what he takes out.”