My Advice to Laura

Go to bed early
Write a filthy poem
Throw away old lipsticks
Organize your blouses by color
Drunk dial an old love

Take a laxative
Eat mystery meat
Throw something in the recycle bin that should be trash

Watch CSI with the sound turned off to see what it's like being deaf
Or watch a CSI blind folded to see what it's like being blind

Predict when the Rapture will occur
Then make a back-up plan

In Depends love...bye

Faith Prince

Had a great time. Faith didn't disappoint!

Here's the view from our seats - yeah, a little close huh?

She'll always be my Adelaide. Here she is with Nathan Lane:

Dinner at Cosmo Cafe

I've been wanting to try this restaurant for quite some time. Their $25 price fix menu was just the ticket.

I asked the bartender to make me something special with no alcohol. He presented me with this gem: fresh passion fruit, simple syrup and a little something fizzy. Refreshing!
I didn't know what to expect from this cup of soup, but what I got was FLAVOR! The menu described it as "Miso and Shiitake Mushroom Soup", but it should have been FLAVOR EXPLOSION!
My main course was the pan seared salmon. I will never be able to duplicate this fantastic cooking technique - perfect. The fish sat on artichokes, fingerling potatoes, with a olive-tomato relish. Yes, you can see that the sun came out when this dish was served (no kidding) and a sunbeam lit up it's loveliness.
The meal ended with Almond Cake (yes, there's cake under those strawberries and lemon cream). I wanted MORE!!!

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea

I recently finished the 2nd Chelsea Handler book, the one that’s been optioned to be made into a sitcom for TV. It’s a light, breezy read (the kind I like) where each chapter acts as a stand alone story about specific times throughout her life.

It reminded me of being at a party with old friends and someone one would say, “Chelsea, remember when you were baby-sitting for that mean kid?” And Chelsea would spend the next 30 minutes making you laugh your ass off telling that story - sometimes sticking to the truth, but hopefully (because that’s what she’s best at) elaborating and embellishing the shit out of the story!
A couple of particularly funny passages – oddly enough having to do with pubic hair (in a leg lock)!

While spending one night in a women’s prison for a DUI, Chelsea gets a body cavity search:

“Even though I’m not an extremely unkept girl, I make it a personal rule to never allow others the displeasure of seeing my beaver in an unruly state. Turns out that I had nothing to worry about. Once we were all undressed, I realized the true meaning of ‘unruly.’ There were women in there who clearly had never heard of a razor, never mind a bikini wax. Hedge trimmers would have been a more appropriate tool for situations going on in between some of these women’s legs. One woman looked like she had Buckwheat stuck in a leg lock.”

On dating a red-head and seeing him naked for the first time:

“The part that wasn’t a jackpot was his baseball mound of red pubic hair that looked like it had literally been attached with a glue gun. I didn’t understand what porn he was watching to not be aware of the trimming that was happening all across the world among his compatriots. I’m not a finicky person when it comes to pubic hair maintenance and I certainly don’t expect men to shave it all off, leaving themselves looking like a hairless cat. That’s even creepier than seeing what Austin had, which could really only be compared to one thing: a clown in a leg lock!”

Blondie "Mother"

Debbie Harry is an institution! She and the boys have a new song, "Mother", which is impossibly catchy. Debbie sounds great. Looks great, rocking the thigh-high boots. And her boobs look spectacular.

Only downside? The video is stupid. Zombies? Really?

Die Walküre

Went to see the Met production, live and in HD -- Next-best-thing to being there.

In grand opera the drama is extraordinarily high. Characters don't just fall in love; they fall so hard that the heavens will not be able to contain their joy. They don't just get sad; they become so over-wrought with pain and despair that the world will end and death is the only answer.

Ridiculous, sublime, and never boring (ok, a little in Act 1), Die Walküre was a 5-hour marathon of a wild story, gorgeous music and singing, awe-inspiring sets and costumes, and my boyfriend, Bryn Terfel, in the lead as Wotan. Oh, and a gaggle of Valkyrie warrior sisters wearing horns!

While I don't consider myself a Ring Nut, it was a terrific way to spend a Saturday. Here's a clip from Act II (that's Bryn as Wotan and Deborah Voight as Brünnhilde, his daughter).

I Want To Sing in French

I want to sing in French
To eat rich sauces made with goose fat
Pretend I belong, but enjoy being mocked
Ask for a coffee, but get a baguette instead
Smoke cigarettes - outside
Buy a shirt I can't afford (doesn't fit either)
To be somewhere elegant,
Not for a lifetime
Just for a moment