9 Books I Bought But Haven’t Read Yet

I’m embarrassed to admit how long it takes me to read a book. Not that I’m illiterate (I did manage to get a bachelor of arts somehow), but I do blame my short attention span on my OCD or is it my ADD (look at the birdie - where’d she go?). Reading a book can take me a year, even a really good one. I get busy with watching too much TV or movies, or reading newspapers or magazines. A whole book? That’s a time commitment and I only seem to be able to read one during jury duty or a long plane ride.

I’m also embarrassed to admit that I buy books but never read them. Well, I won’t say “never” but with nine or so unread books on my shelf, it’s doubtful I’ll get to them soon. In a nutshell my favorite book topics are cooking, celebrity bios, and travel. The last books I actually did finish were “The Reach of a Chef” by Michael Ruhlman, a fascinating and funny look at cooking in today’s age of celebrity chefs, plus Steve Martin’s “Born Standing Up.” The guy is brilliantly funny and a gift writer. To succinctly explain the art of stand-up is miraculous.

I’ve started a couple of books in the last year, Rupert Everett’s “Red Carpets and other Banana Skins” (Is this pretty boy messed up, or what?), and “Last of the Donkey Pilgrims” by a guy named Kevin O’Hara. He gets a donkey and cart and circumnavigates Ireland - sweet, old-fashioned hilarity ensues. Sadly, I haven’t finished either.

Almost forgot, one of my requirements to buying a book; it has to be paperback. If I’m going to be reading in the jury office or in coach on a plane, I need portability.

With that in mind, here’s what’s collecting dust on my shelves (trust me, there’s more in reality):

“My Horizontal Life” - Chelsea Handler
I’m a huge fan of Chelsea Lately on E! and didn’t know she wrote books. Technically I didn’t buy this one but rather got it as a Christmas gift. It’s likely what I’m taking on my upcoming long vacation (Long plane ride - check. Reading about sex while in coach - check!)

“Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea” - Chelsea Handler
Yea, I bought her 2nd book and haven’t read the first one! Go figure.

“Alice Waters and Chez Panisse” - Thomas McNamee
Anthony Bourdain compares her to a Vietnamese dictator, which makes me laugh. But part of her earthly, Mother Earth crap I find charming and inspirational. In theory anyway, since I haven’t read the book.

“New Europe” - Michael Palin
The huge letters ‘PALIN’ on the cover make people think I bought Sarah Palin’s book (not a chance). Rather it’s a travel book through Eastern Europe. I’d seen a few of the TV programs Palin did which are chronicled in the book. Looking forward to it.

“Postcard from Europe” - Rick Steves
I’m a disciple of Rick’s travel books and thought I’d give his travel journal a whirl. Needless-to-say, it’s whirling up dust on my book shelf instead.

“Travel as a Political Act” - Rick Steves
I bought his TV special about Iran and loved it. As an added bonus to the DVD, he gives a lecture about how traveling abroad can change your views of the world and more importantly change how others view you and your culture (hear that LOUD AMERICANS?). This book is a compendium to that lecture (at least the jacket says it is).

“Berlin” - Various writers
One of my few hard back books (it’s tiny). Berlin is a city I loved visiting and fell it love with it’s complex charm. It’s not an easy city to endure; it’s loud and brash and non-stop. But something underneath the city’s surface makes me want to go back for me. I thought this book of short stories would be a good place to start learning about the city’s complexities. Now if I can just break the spine...

“The Daring Spectacle” - Mark Morford
I actually had a dream about this guy over the weekend. It was naughty, confusing, wet, spiritual, and utterly rewarding. I’m sure the book will be too (love his weekly columns!).

“Wishful Drinking” - Carrie Fisher
The dame is a hoot and a holler. I don’t fancy myself a Star Wars nerd, but am more interested in the recovering alcoholic side of her story. I finished Augusten Burrough’s “Dry” in just 3 days and I’m sure if I finally opened up Carrie’s book, I’d wiz thought it too.

There you have it. My fun, sad reading list. It’s nowhere complete and I’m confident the list will grow. I mean, once Kathy Griffin and Chelsea Handler’s new books are released in paperback, I’m screwed!