Grammy Nominations 2010

Every year I cull through the baffling Grammy nominations so you don’t have to. Here’s a look at what I found interesting, ridiculous, and essentially irrelevant.

*****

I am officially old. I haven’t heard any of these songs. Ok, maybe the song from Beyonce’s husband, but that was years ago, wasn’t it? And I only like the part where Alicia shouts “New York...” Ugh, it’s all dreck. No Justin Bieber? WTF? A song named “Fuck You”? Gads, what happened to subtlety? It died.

Record Of The Year

Nothin' On You - B.o.B Featuring Bruno Mars
Love The Way You Lie - Eminem Featuring Rihanna
F*** You - Cee Lo Green
Empire State Of Mind - Jay-Z & Alicia Keys
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

*****

The category of 1) the guy fat chicks dig, 2) dead guy, 3) gay guy, 4) Bruce Willis, and 3) the guy who has porked all of Hollywood. Might be an old-manish choice, but my hopes and dreams are on Michael Bublé. Does that make me a fat chick?

Best Male Pop Vocal Performance

Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Bublé
This Is It - Michael Jackson
Whataya Want From Me - Adam Lambert
Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars
Half Of My Heart - John Mayer

*****

I hope Steve Perry performs a mash-up with the Glee cast on the TV show!

Best Pop Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

Don't Stop Believin' (Regionals Version) - Glee Cast
Misery - Maroon 5
The Only Exception - Paramore
Babyfather - Sade
Hey, Soul Sister (Live) - Train

*****

The only think interesting about this category is the potential for Celebrity Death Match. I’m certain SuBo would win. Bieber is a pussy.

Best Pop Vocal Album

My World 2.0 - Justin Bieber
I Dreamed A Dream - Susan Boyle
The Fame Monster - Lady Gaga
Battle Studies - John Mayer
Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

*****

Also known as the Natalie Cole category, I’m hoping that Michael wins here and will perform on the telecast.

Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album

Crazy Love - Michael Bublé
The Greatest Love Songs Of All Time - Barry Manilow
Let It Be Me: Mathis In Nashville - Johnny Mathis
Fly Me To The Moon…The Great American Songbook: Volume V - Rod Stewart
Love Is The Answer - Barbra Streisand

*****

The most irrelevant, mis-named category...EVER.

Best Solo Rock Vocal Performance

Eric Clapton, John Mayer, Paul McCartney, Robert Plant, and Neil Young

*****

No joke, the Muse record was one of my favorites of the year.

Best Rock Performance By A Duo Or Group With Vocals

Arcade Fire, Jeff Beck & Joss Stone, The Black Keys, Kings Of Leon, and Muse

*****

Dweezil...releases an instrumental to whore a nomination...how else does one explain this?

Best Rock Instrumental Performance

Jeff Beck, The Black Keys, Los Lobos, Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds, and Dweezil Zappa

*****

Again, my honest hope is that Muse wins.

Best Rock Album
The Resistance - Muse

*****

Sadly, a category that is usually filled with mariachi singers, shall go silent this year. There’s lots of Tejano, Norteño, and Banda nominees, but not enough regional Mexicans. Here’s what the Academy had to say about it.

Best Regional Mexican Album

There were fewer than ten artists entered into this category, so per Academy rules The Recording Academy will not be announcing nominations or presenting a GRAMMY Award in this category this year.

*****

I’m disappointed Elvis Costello wasn’t nominated this year. His disc, “Secret, Profane, and Sugarcane” was terrific. So from the nominees, I’d like to see Los Lobos win.

Best Americana Album

The List - Rosanne Cash
Tin Can Trust - Los Lobos
Country Music - Willie Nelson
Band Of Joy - Robert Plant
You Are Not Alone - Mavis Staples

*****

I just want to see Cyndi perform on the TV show.

Best Traditional Blues Album

Memphis Blues - Cyndi Lauper

*****

Anything with Angelique, I’d want to see!

Best Contemporary World Music Album
ÕŸÖ - Angelique Kidjo

*****

It’s the “read your book” category. Hard to decide here. Should I go foreign? Invalid? Senior citizen? Nope, I’m going for Jon Stewart.

Best Spoken Word Album (Includes Poetry, Audio Books & Story Telling)

Craig Ferguson, Sarah Silverman, Jon Stewart, Michael J. Fox, Carol Burnett, and Woody Allen

*****

Nobody really puts out comedy albums so it’s relevant that an old dinosaur like Robin Williams was even nominated. Go Kathy Griffin!

Best Comedy Album

Margaret Cho, Flight Of The Conchords, Kathy Griffin, Lewis Black, and Robin Williams

****

Too much Sondheim here to tell apart. I don’t want to award Catherine Zeta-Jones, so “A Little Night Music” is out. And the Burt Bacharach stuff in “Promises, Promises” is a rehash. So it’s a toss up between Green Day and Fela. I’d have to go with something bold and new, so “Fela!” is my pick here.

Best Musical Show Album

American Idiot (Featuring Green Day)
Fela!
A Little Night Music
Promises, Promises
Sondheim On Sondheim